Manners

From a young age, we are taught to respect our parents and anyone older than us. We kiss their hands, greet them when passing by or walking ahead of them, slightly bow when crossing in front of them, and so on. Failing to observe these manners is considered disrespectful. Our parents would scold us, or we would become the subject of gossip among older people.

Now, that culture is slowly fading, whether because of changing times or other reasons. I myself rarely practice it anymore. I do not kiss my parents’ hands before leaving the house. For me, saying goodbye is enough. I only do it on certain occasions, such as during Eid.

I also no longer bow slightly when passing in front of older people, nor do I choose to walk behind someone much older instead of overtaking them. As for this particular habit, I once experienced something rather amusing.

One evening after Maghrib prayer at the mosque, as I turned into the alley leading home, I saw my elderly neighbor—who had also just returned from the mosque—walking ahead of me. Usually, I would overtake him while saying, “Excuse me, Sir.” But that evening, I was too lazy to make small talk, so I deliberately slowed my pace. Fortunately, my house was closer.

But my neighbor was not walking as he usually did. He walked slowly—very slowly. Or perhaps, I thought, he was intentionally slowing himself down. Every now and then, he would stop, or seem to stop on purpose, to pick something up from the road and toss it aside or throw it into a trash bin.

It took me a while to realize why he was slowing down. A little farther ahead of him was another neighbor, even older than he was, also walking slowly.

I stopped walking and thought: how could someone so much older than me have exactly the same thought as I did?✦